


the Space Between

by Solstheim (SweetRaspberryTea)



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Control Ending, Destroy Ending, F/F, M/M, Post-Mass Effect 3, brief talks of AI, brief talks of death, brief talks of death and mortality, some mild grotesque imagery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 04:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19433935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetRaspberryTea/pseuds/Solstheim
Summary: Made for the RMEBB 2019 event run by Azzy Darling! <3 My partner, the awesome potionsmaster, wanted Virmire Survivors, I went a bit crazy with the prompt. Very crazyFor two Virmire survivors and their relationships and love with Shepard, and how it transcends the space between.





	1. If you must die sweetheart, Die knowing your life was my life's best part

**Author's Note:**

> Art by the wonderful and most [awesome potionsmaster](https://nightmarestudio606.tumblr.com/), you rock!!! <3333
> 
> Please be understanding, I have not Beta read this quite yet. It's my longest story to date! I will be editing it in the upcoming days :D If you feel something should be tagged, please let me know.  
> The stars can wait for your sign  
> Don't signal now,  
> There's nothing I can say  
> There's nothing we can do now  
> Goodnight, travel well"__

* * *

“Shepard-!”

“You’ve got to get out of here Kaidan!”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.”

“Don’t argue with me Kaidan.”

“Don’t leave me behind.” 

“No matter what happens, know that I love you. Always.”

“I love you too...be careful.”

“Go!”

\-----------------------------

Kaidan is awake for the crash. The Normandy falls out of the sky as EDI's lifeless body slumps to the floor next to him. He's not able to keep hold of her as everything in the CIC slams back towards the elevator. He calls out to the other crew, Joker is strapped in but probably hurt, EDI is offline, and the rest of the crew is scattered around. "EDI, damage report."

There's no reply from the AI. 

"Damnit." The EMP that hit them probably knocked out her systems. He'd have to worry later. He leans her body against the wall and stands. The ship is dark, emergency lights on the floor illuminating the normally busy room. The elevator is offline, he only hopes someone is in the process of getting it working. He walks across the CIC on shaky legs. His injury to his ribs makes it very hard to stand, let alone walk at the moment. He has to lean on the railing for support. 

"Major Alenko?" A soft voice comes from the darkness, a pair of hands helps him back up. 

"Traynor." He coughs. "Glad to see you're still in one piece."

She laughs quietly. "I think most of us are shell shocked luckily. Joker is working to communicate with the lower decks to get the elevator and power on. I just got the radio to work."

"Do you know if everyone is ok? How’s the lower decks?"

"So far, a couple injuries, a dozen concussions and a handful of broken bones. EDI is offline because of that EMP that hit us, but I'm hoping Tali can get her online."

"No casualties so far?"

"So far, no."

"Thank God." A shaky laugh rumbles through him. Traynor lets go of him and he sinks into a chair in the cockpit. Garrus is seated in one across from him, fiddling with some controls on the darkened console. “Glad to see you’re still in one piece Garrus.”

Garrus snorts. “You too Alenko.”

“Yeah glad to see you’re okay Joker, aw you too guys.” the familiar voice from behind the chairs says rather loudly to no one in particular.

“I wonder who said that?” Garrus says.

“Said what?” Kaidan snickers.

Joker swivels in the chair, crossing his arms. “You two are assholes.”

“You made it out of every scrape Shepard was in, in one piece I might add, it’d be impossible for you to not make it.” Garrus says.

“We’re glad to see you in one piece Joker.”

“Yeah yeah.” He rises from his chair slowly. “I’m gonna go outside, see where we landed. Atmo readings said everything was fine. Check everything out and all that. Samantha, call me when you have the radio back up. I wanna see what Tali can do for EDI.” Samantha nods and Joker walks out the door. Samantha makes a notion to Kaidan. 

“I’ll go check on him.”

Kaidan follows shortly behind Jeff. Outside is an almost jungle planet. Kaidan guesses it’s the far side of Eden Prime. Maybe a day from civilization at most. There’s nothing outside nearby due to the crash scaring any wildlife, but he keeps his pistol nearby on his hip. Joker is looking wistfully at the sun. Kaidan rests his hand on Jokers shoulder and squeezes it gently.

“Do you think we won?” Joker asks.

Kaidan doesn’t immediately answer, and Joker looks down. “I really fucking hope so Joker. I really hope so.” 

\------------------------

They don’t go in for awhile. The sun starts to set before a crew member comes to retrieve them. Samantha has gotten most of the auxiliary power back on, there’s still no lights above, but the consoles are lit up. There’s more crew running around. 

“Major Alenko!” Samantha yells from the cockpit. Kaidan and Joker run into the cockpit, and Kaidan tries to ask what’s going on, but a voice that’s recognized as Hackett repeats a message:

“This is Admiral Hackett. The Reapers have been defeated. I repeat, the Reapers have been defeated. We did it. I am proud of you all. We will update you all with more information as it comes to us, we ask that you put out emergency beacons and help out any nearby survivors. Please be aware, with the EMP that went off most communication is limited. The Relays and all AI are disabled, or destroyed.” the entire crew pales at this notion. “Again, I’m proud of you all. Help is on the way.” The message stops and finishes with a woman’s voice: “This message is set to repeat.”

“I guess they don’t know Shepard’s status.” a crewmember says offhandedly.

“Yeah.” 

“Do you think Tali can get EDI up and running again?” 

“Tali can get an AI working from a toaster, let’s all be patient.” Kaidan says firmly. “As for Shepard, remember we’re far away. Shepard is probably still in London, getting a hero’s welcome, and he’s probably expecting us back. So let’s all work together to get the Normandy airborne, help out any stragglers and hobble back to Earth.”

“Hackett says the Relays are destroyed-”

“Maybe they’re just disabled?”

“We will find that out when we get there.” Kaidan again reaffirmed. He was just as scared as they where, terrified even. No word of Shepard, EDI was down, the Normandy was still on auxiliary power; the process of getting her off the ground was enough to be scared of. The Normandy was a ship for space, it didn’t have traditional landing gear. Not to mention the trees in the surrounding area would need to be cut down to prevent a fire in the area when they managed to take off. Everything was suddenly hitting Kaidan harder than his physical injuries.

“The elevator is back up!” Samantha calls from the CIC. Kaidan strides over with some of the remaining crew on the CIC.  
“Garrus, I need you to stay up on deck, Joker, co-ordinate the teams to work to get the Normandy off the ground, check any radar nearby. I want to know if we need to sweep the area and check for survivors, or if we need to send a search party. Look for cities in the surroundings. Private Westmoreland, take stock of anything that’s broken or damaged, I want to know what we have and what we’ve lost.” Joker and Bethany nod and walk away. “Garrus, have your rifle at the ready if we need you, but facilitate the others.” The doors close, Samantha stands next to Kaidan, Private Campbell is on the other side.

“They’ve got Chakwas down on the second deck you know, they’ll have to be already patched up.”

“I’m more worried about the bottom decks. The engineering crew are very close to the drive core, and we landed on the Shuttle Bay.”

“Major Alenko, I know it may not soothe all your worries, but the Normandy is made to be strong enough to stand not only the vacuum of space, but the process of gliding through the relays, not to mention I think Steve is probably already polishing the shuttle. It’ll be good as new too!”

Kaidan laughs, “Always the positive one, eh Sarah?”

“Well someone has to stay positive, you look absolutely gloomy!”

“We weren’t the first on the elevator, so hopefully they’ve made their way up ahead of us.”

Kaidan tsks and shakes his head. The distraction is good. On the Crew Deck, there’s less people running around, but the Mess Hall is in disarray. Most of the staff on deck is in the Infirmary. “I’m going to make a quick pit stop, do you two mind checking on everyone for me? I need a head check.” 

Private Sarah Campbell makes a salute and walks off to do the task. “I’ll see where Tali is and see if I can help her with that.”

Kaidan nods. “Thanks.” He begins to make his way over to Liara's room, no doubt the woman has crawled back to communicate with others. She was a damn good information broker, if he recalled correctly. He knocks and leans into the door. "Liara? It's Kaidan."

"Come in, it's unlocked."

He does, and the door closes behind him. Her room, usually a very well lit room with a barrage of screens and other distractions is dark. A handful of datapads on her bed with the Asari on it too. She has a gauze bandage on her cheek and some medi-gel healing the cuts on her body. He sits in a chair, "thank you for earlier. Dragging me onto the Normandy. I wouldn't have made it to the beam."

Liara sighs with a soft smile and rests her hand on Kaidans. "Of course. I know I didn't want to leave, I can't imagine what you're going through Kaidan." 

Kaidan chuckles in response, but it's half-hearted. "I'll be ok Liara."

"If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you."

"I appreciate it."

She lightly squeezes her hand over Kaidans and sinks back onto her bed. "Now for our status: the Normandy is completely in the dark, luckily I have operatives on Eden Prime. The main colony is alright after we took it back from Cerberus, there's a couple areas that need help but the main colony is coordinating efforts to help them. So at the very least we won't starve. If we can get the shuttle working we can add ourselves to look around the region for stragglers."

"Any word on the other systems? How is Earth? Thessia?"

"Not much as of yet." She sets a datapad down. "I know you won't agree with me, but I suggest we start doing shifts. You need rest, we have enough officers and we're on a non hostile planet-"

"To be completely honest I do agree. My leg is still aching, the omni-cast Chakwas has me in might've shifted in the crash."

Liara blinks in disbelief. "All right, have her check on it and get some rest." 

Kaidan rests his hand on her shoulder. "Thanks Liara." He walks away and the door shuts behind him.

Of course as much as he would like to sleep, he heads into the infirmary, Chakwas is probably flooded and he's one of maybe three medics trained on board. 

\-----------

When Kaidan finally rests his head, he passes out before he can get out of his uniform and boots. He dreams of the dark void of space he often looked into between missions. The planets and stars passing by, the lovely view of the Sol System, of home. The home that for all hr knew, was destroyed. He dreamed of the constellations, which ones might be there still, which ones weren't. In the dreams, Shepard is there, cracking the worst jokes as Kaidan tells him about the home stars. In his dream they're sitting on the lounge couch as he always did, as he always wanted to-together. There wasn't enough time.

The lounge was always climate controlled, always on the warm side. In his dreams it was cold. He remembers how zero G training was, as he was in space. It's freezing.

He wishes he could have spent more time with Shepard. He was hoping of a future after the war. If the orchard was still in one piece, hell if it was in a few pieces, nothing two old war heroes in retirement couldn't fix with a little patience. He wanted to introduce Shepard to his parents. He knew his dad would like him for sure, two Marines swapping stories while his mom and him bond over their terrible baking skills. He wanted a dog, he wanted a life, maybe kids too. But everything felt so far away so suddenly. 

He said his goodbyes. He felt no regrets. But his dreams were full of sorrow over futures he couldn't have.

He wakes shortly thereafter, and stares into the moonroof and into the stars. He wonders who had the bright idea to put that above Shepards bed after he'd been spaced, but he pushes the thought from his mind. There's nothing urgent ringing on his omni-tool, so he sheds his clothing and takes a shower. It's been five hours since they crash landed. Three hours of rough sleep did him as well as it could. He puts back a new pair and hopes Shepard won't mind if he steals a pair of pants. It's an emergency after all.

He rides the elevator down to the Crew Deck. It's very quiet. Most of the crew is probably asleep, resting. Liara is sitting at the mess hall table, sipping coffee and reading off of a datapad. She notices Kaidan out of the corner of her eye and pours another cup and slides it across the table. He sits down with a quiet 'thank you' and takes a long swig.

"It's early. But they're having trouble reviving EDI. Tali's been in there with Traynor bordering on three hours." 

"Is there something wrong with her code? We have back ups on the Citadel, Shepard backed her up on Illium too." 

"Kaidan." She pauses. She can't meet his eyes. "All VI, simple or not is nonfunctional."

Kaidan's eyes widen in horror. "Define non functional."

"Wiped. Back ups are all but code remnants. They can be rebuilt but...they'll be remnants of themselves."

Kaidan steeples his fingers. "So we've got one casualty."

"So far. I'll have Dr. Chakwas assign grief counseling to Jeff."

"Thanks Liara. Any news from off world?"

"Very little. The Relays save for the very far off ones are in millions of pieces. it's nearly impossible to travel between galaxies at the moment, a lot of ships are stuck in the Sol system. We know the Reapers are defeated, or at the very least inactive. But other than that we can't rely on quantum entanglement communications. Just radio waves and some very quickly put together radios. We are especially lucky Tali is on board, otherwise we'd still be in the dark."

The situation is grim, and Kaidan knows this. There's a feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Any word on Shepard?"

Liara shakes her head. "No, I'm sorry. I'll update you as soon as I can."

"I think he didn't make it Liara."

"Kaidan, don't say that."

"It just, I feel it. I think we really said our last goodbyes."

"Kaidan, I know everything seems bleak, but you need to have faith in Shepard. He's been dead before and even that couldn't keep him down! Not to mention Miranda is on Earth, if anything happens you know she'll move Heaven and Hell itself for him." She says this all matter-of-factedly. "She will literally defy Death itself. I know you are worried, but please, let's focus on the here and now." If those words had come out of anyone else's lips he'd be almost angry right now, but he knows Liara means it in the nicest way possible, and he knows she's probably right. But the feeling of loss still hurts in his heart.

"All right, I'll trust you on this one."

"And I know you aren't going to like this either, but you still have a couple hours, get some rest. If you have to, take a crew bunk."

"I think I'll do that." He laughs. "It's too quiet on the top deck." He leaves the coffee mug in the sink and slinks off to the Crew deck beds. Everyone got the hint when Kaidan started bunking with Shepard, but they saved his bed regardless. He climbs in and hits the pillow. It's cold and smells faintly of detergent. The only thing above his head is the ceiling. The noise inside the room is mostly rustling sheets from crewmembers deep in sleep, and a snore here and there. 'Much better' he mentallys thinks, and in a minute he's out like a light.

\-----

Kaidan wakes up to the next shift getting in to sleep about three hours later. He rustles his hair into place as best as he can, pulls his clothes back on and heads out to the Crew Deck. It's much more lively, especially with the lights on. 

"Kaidan, how are you feeling?" Chakwas asks. 

"Fine, much better with sleep."

"Good, I just got Liara to go to bed, Tali too."

"How's the progress with EDI?"

She doesn't answer immediately. "Not good. The EMP wiped a lot of what we have on board, there's a possibility her backups are off the ship however, I know Shepard kept one on Illium, the Citadel, and that other place. What was it called-?" She rubs her temples. 

"Intai-sei?"

She snaps her fingers, "Yes that's the one. Anyways, the crew is organizing getting into town, you should join them."

Kaidan nods. Chakwas starts to walk away but she turns on her heel and says, "If you ever need to talk, my door is always open."

"Thanks doc."

Kaidan rides the elevator up to the CIC, which is still a bit dark. In the corner in a chair he sees Private Westmoreland and Campbell under an emergency blanket, snoozing away. 

"Kaidan, good to see you up and walking."

"Steve, glad to see the shuttle didn't crush you." Steve pats Kaidan on the shoulder.

"L2, how was the beauty nap?"

"Uh, it was good, thanks."

"He's got some hair gel if you need it."

"I forget you get all curly up top."

Kaidan says nothing, almost in disbelief. "Thanks you two, you sure do know how to treat a guy."  
"Now c'mon, we're gonna be suitin' up and heading into Eden Prime. The colony is still pretty fortified after the Cerberus attack, we're lucky we landed here."

"Yeah. I gotta thank Joker." The duo nod in agreement with the Major. "Steve is the shuttle in ok flying condition?"

"In tip top shape, if a bit dented. No worse for wear than if I let him drive." Kaidan laughs as James face pinches into a pout. "It'll be ready to fly."

"Do you three mind if I come with you?" Joker says, hobbling over. "I wanna get off the ship for a bit."

"Yeah, that's ok. As long as you carry a pistol."

"Even with the husks gone?"

"Uh, wait what?"

"Oh right. The message from Earth says the husks were wiped out in the blast, it's why most forms of tech are all busted up."

"Oh." Kaidan says. "Still, if only for my sake, just carry mine."

Joker raises his hands in defeat. "All right, all right. You win."

"We'll get ready then." James and Steve wave and walk off. 

"You holding up?" Kaidan asks.

"I should be asking you that." Joker laughs. "I'll hold up ok, I won't do anything stupid, I promise."

"I know you've probably heard this a couple times, but if you ever need to talk-"

"A million times actually. And same to you." Kaidan smiles and they head to the Shuttle Bay to get suited up. 

\---------

Joker ends up with a pistol on his hip, just as Kaidan asks. The trip to Eden Prime is largely uneventful. The colonists are shaken, the husks dissolving and disappearing caused a couple people to faint, and there was some overexertion, but the colonists were largely ok. The group sit down after a couple hours, Kaidan has been co-ordinating supply chains with Steve, and shifts between the colonists with James. His friend returns with water and a protein bar. He accepts them with a tired 'thanks'. 

"You look wiped." Joker says as he sits down with the two men. James is soon to follow. 

"Aw c'mon, I've looked worse."

"Mars doesn't count." Kaidan interjects.

"Nah, he's gotten his ass handed to him a couple times." Joker says with a cheeky grin.

"Really?"

"I don't remember anything like that."

"Two words. Pinnacle Station."

Kaidan's face paled. "C'mon, that's a low blow."

"Ok, you gotta tell us about this." Steve says with a smile. 

"So, Pinnacle Station is run by this old general guy right? During our chase with Saren, he invites Shepard up to the station. Tells him," Joker says in a mocking, authoritative tone,: "Shepard, you've defeated all of my dumb combat challenges, but I bet you can't defeat this one!"

"He didn't sound like that."

Joker shrugs. "I never met the guy, Shepard told me all of this."

"What?!"

"Shepard threw you under the bus then huh." James says, amused.

"C'mon, tell the rest."

"Anyways, Shepard had just beat this Turian guys high scores, he's totally rubbing it in."

Steve and James both look at Kaidan. "He was harassing another guy on the station, he deserved it." They both seem pleased with the answer.

"Anyways, the General guy is like, 'can you survive the First Contact War for five minutes?' And Shepard was like, hell yeah."

"And you got brought along?"

Kaidan nods in response to Steve's question. "Liara too. Shepard went in with an assault rifle, like a challenge not to use biotics because Ahern didn't."

"And Shepard tells me he went for cover, and what does this guy do?"

"I...didn't roll to cover."

"Shepard hauls ass with Kaidan on his shoulder, and they just sit behind a barrier. The simulation wasn't smart enough to find them, even with all three crouched down behind a wall."

"So, you're telling me you got your ass beat in a simulator?"

"We didn't fire a single bullet either. I felt so pathetic afterwards." Kaidan's face is in his hands. He really, really did not want to relive the big fuckup that he'd smashed into the back of his mind.

"Was Shepard mad at you?"

"Shepard? Mad at Kaidan? Psshhht no." Joker laughs. "I've barely seen them not be eye-fucking."

"Even on the original Normandy?"

"No." Kaidan says quickly.

"Uh, yeah."

"Shepard and I were not involved on the SR-1."

"C'mon, you two were making heart eyes all the damn time. Like a bunch of high schoolers."

"I can't see that at all." Steve laughs. "I mean I know Shepard gets like that, when the facade drops and he looks more uh…" 

"Human?" James offers.

"Not the best way to put it, but yeah."

"Loco is the Terminator, that's pretty cool to me."  
"Yeah, the red eyes where a shock."

"Yeah, I can only imagine on Horizon. He had the full scars at that time."

"It was...a lot."

"I mean, no one can blame you Kaidan." Steve offers reassuringly. 

"I don't feel bad about it. I chose what I chose. I would've never joined Cerberus. Even though I was wrong about Shepard, seeing him alive after I heard him, I knew he died."

"They didn't recover the body though, how did you know?"

Kaidan frowns. Joker answers, "His comm channel was still on after he got me into the escape pod. Kaidan heard the whole thing."

"Oh. Shit. Uh, sorry man."

Kaidan doesn't smile, and the face he has on is hiding the hurt. "It's all right. I'm just glad Shepard doesn't remember most of it."

"So, does the red stuff like bug you?"

Kaidan shrugs. "Not really. I know it's Shepard in there, yanno? It's more of like, a disagreeable fashion choice." He chuckles. "It's only scary when I get up to piss in the night because sometimes I'm still too sleepy to remember that's Shepard."

They all share a laugh. "So, when did you two get together by the way?" Joker asks. "Like officially?"

"Before we left for Rannoch."

"I told you!" Steve says. Joker slips him a credit chit. "I knew it. Shepard had this big smile on his face when he walked onboard after he came back-"

"I thought he just bought another fish, man." James says.

"Oh no, he did." Kaidan says. Joker sighs and slides another credit chit. 

"You two are bankrupting me yanno?"

"Maybe you should gamble a little smarter."

"I thought they were fucking on the SR-1!"

"Nope."

"Why didn't you?"

"I...I felt guilty when we lost Ash on Virmire." The conversation drops. "I still do. I know Shepard does too."

"Yeah, you two looked like shit after that mission."

"We all did."

"Yeah, but you two especially."

"Hey Kaidan." James asks. "What was Ashley like?"

"She was." He inhales, "she was the craziest, bravest Gunnery Sergeant, incredibly bright. I think you would've liked her a lot."

"Was she cute?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well?"

"Yeah. I think Shepard had a thing for her."

"You both did, c'mon."

"I did not! I...she was like a little sister to me. I don't have siblings yanno? She had a bunch of sisters, she was very headstrong, no nonsense kind of girl.”

“You miss her huh.”

“Yeah, every day. I just wonder what would’ve happened if we could’ve saved her.”

“The Normandy would’ve been caught in the blast, we would’ve all died, Saren would’ve won and the Reapers would’ve come early as they wanted and the Reapers would’ve harvested everyone.”

“Well,” James raises his water in a mock toast. “Here’s to Ash, to Shepard, and all the rest who can’t be here today to see us win.” The four men raise their glasses and say ‘cheers’ in unison. 

Shortly after, they head back to the Normandy. It’s quiet, most of the crew has patched up any major holes to the ship, and aside from some scratches to the hull, the Normandy is ready to hold up through space. She just needs a new paint job. 

The four men disembark the shuttle, Steve and James stay in the Shuttle Bay to clean up the scattered supplies from the crash. Joker and Kaidan head up the lift to the CIC. There’s even less people awake on the deck than previous, though it seems Campbell and Westmoreland aren’t there anymore. The two men walked towards the bridge. The doors open. Liara and Tali are listening to a broadcast. 

“Kaidan-”

“-found the remains of Lieutenant Commander Shepard, deep in the rubble of the Citadel after it crashed to Earth. Funeral services will be held-”

Everything in Kaidan’s vision becomes blurry, his head starts to hurt and his vision swims. He vaguely hears Liara, Tali and Joker call to him, but he turns heel, and walks away, shrugging off the hand placed on his shoulder in concern. He stumbles into the elevator and mashes the up button, and slides down the wall. He tries not to cry. Kaidan doesn’t cry a lot. But his heart hurts. He feels the loss, he felt it earlier, and he knew Shepard was gone again. He knew Shepard, a man that was larger than life. A man he loved so very much, was gone. He manages the strength to get up and into the cabin. He grabs the N7 jacket off of the chair, right as Shepard had put it before, and holds it tightly, he let tears fall into the hood. He breathes heavily, his head hurts. 

“Not again, Shepard. You can’t do this to me again. You promised you’d come back. You promised me.” 

Kaidan falls asleep with tears in his eyes, on the bed under the stars Shepard loved so much. Kaidan is normally a quiet sleeper. He is usually at peace. But tonight, he feels the loss of his love. Again. His nightmares tonight are of the Normandy. He begins the nightmare with his memories, just as he woke up that day. He remembers, he was going to ask Shepard out before the Collectors hit. He wakes up and runs through the motions, just as he did those years ago. He spent so long showering, fluffing his hair and rehearsing asking, trying to get the right words. And then he hears a loud bang. He knows this is the Collector beam shearing the Normandy in two. He runs to put his armor on. He runs through the motions quickly, as he always does. 

And he runs to Shepard. Shepard, who is desperately trying to make sure everyone gets off board safely. Little does he know half of the crew has already suffocated in the vacuum of space.

“Shepard.”

“The distress beacon is ready for launch.”

“Will the Alliance get here in time?” No, they didn’t. He knows that.

An explosion rattles the ship. Shepard steadies himself with Kaidan. “The Alliance won’t abandon us.” Shepard tries to keep the fire away from the distress beacon. “We just need to hold on.” He’s trying to save the ship, he’s trying to mend it’s broken body with a bandaid. He wants to pull Shepard towards the cockpit and get Joker and leave but his body won’t move.

“Get everyone onto the escape shuttle.” 

“Joker’s still in the cockpit. He won’t abandon ship.” He yelled at Joker afterwards. He yelled at him, screamed at him after. They didn’t talk for months. “I’m not leaving either.” He remembers saying that. And yet he left.

“I need you to get the crew onto the evac shuttle.” Shepard says cooly. “I’ll take care of Joker.” Kaidan wants to reach out, to scream, to beg, plead, anything. He doesn’t want to see this, doesn’t want to hear this again. 

A small explosion almost knocks Shepard off his feet. “Commander!”

“Kaidan, go.” Shepard turns. He can feel the glare. “Now.”

“Aye aye.” And he does. Every regret he has begins to bubble up to the surface. He tells Shepard he didn’t have many regrets, but that’s one of the biggest. And he’s reliving it. He leaves, just as asked. He doesn’t fight it anymore. He knows what’s coming. He sees Talitha Draven, in an explosion that shot her into a wall as she landed with a sickening thud. He remembers her scream. And he gets in the pod, just as asked. He’s reliving the worst day of his life. He sees the particle beam shear the Normandy into pieces. He doesn’t look for Shepard, because he at the time thought he was with Joker. But he hears it shortly after. He shushes the crew on board. He hears the labored breathing. The hiss of oxygen leaving the suit into the cold vacuum of space. He hears Shepard grunt and exert, moan and groan trying to reattach the suit’s oxygen cord. He remembers all of it, and it’s all he can hear. It’s over in less than thirty seconds. But he hears Shepard still trying to breathe, before it goes quiet. He hears nothing. He removes his helmet, and there’s a look of horror and loss that the small crew understand. They know.

When Kaidan wakes, he cries again. He trudges through every day, every waking moment. It takes over a year to get the relays into working condition again. 

By the time they reach Earth, the funeral service is long over. He embraces his mother for a long time. She’s all he has left. 

It’s hard to get ahold of Miranda. Liara does most of the work, she checks up on Kaidan a lot. Kaidan doesn’t hear much from Joker, but he fears the worst. He doesn’t ask. 

“I can’t do anything Kaidan, I’m sorry.”  
“What do you need? Money, supplies, I’ll take care of it. I’ll do anything.”

“They didn’t recover the body Kaidan. I’m sorry, I really am. If there’s anything I can do-”

“It’s all right, I’m sorry to bother you. It’s good to see you up and walking around again.”

Miranda smiles, but it’s not a true smile. “Take care of yourself Kaidan. Shepard wouldn’t want this from you.”

“I know. I’ll be seeing you around.” He hangs up the phone, and runs his hands over his face. It’s weird using a phone. He’s used to vid calls. He drifts back off, and the nightmare begins again tonight.


	2. If you must mourn, my love Mourn with the moon and the stars up above

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by the wonderful and most [awesome potionsmaster](https://nightmarestudio606.tumblr.com/), you rock!!! <3333
> 
> Please be understanding, I have not Beta read this quite yet. It's my longest story to date! I will be editing it in the upcoming days :D If you feel something should be tagged, please let me know.
> 
> __"Nobody said it was easy  
> It's such a shame for us to part  
> Nobody said it was easy  
> No one ever said it would be this hard  
> Oh take me back to the start"__

* * *

“With all due respect Commander,.”

“Don’t argue with me Ash!”

“Damn it Shepard, I can do this!”

“No matter what happens here today, I’ll always love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Go!”

\---

Ashley wakes with a ringing in her ear, and Chakwas yelling something to her right. The light above her is blinding even with her eyes only cracked open. She reaches to move her hands over her eyes but her arms feel like heavy stones have taken residence there instead. 

"Commander, if you can hear me can you blink? Blink for me." Ashley complies. "That's good, if you can understand me we're on Eden Prime. The Normandy crash landed here after that pulse went off and knocked you out."

"She did it Ashley." A voice on the left says, the slight reverb makes her believe it's Tali'Zorah. She can feel her three-fingered hand resting on her, warm. "Shepard won, we won." Her voice is trembling.

"Get some rest Commander.” Chakwas’ voice says.

And with that command, Ashley falls back out of consciousness.

\----

Ashley dreams that she didn’t listen to Shepard. Tali says they won. But Shepard’s voice wasn’t there to comfort her. Ashley doesn’t have many regrets, but she hates that she was pulled away from the battlefield, pulled away too early from Shepard, leaving her to run to the beam alone. She dreams, but even unconscious she feels the overwhelming guilt from leaving her behind. She begged Shepard to not leave her, but in reality, she feels she’s left Shepard behind. Ashley has nightmares too. She hears Shepard’s voice, even toned, calling for her in the dark of sleep. Her voice is the only sound Ashley hears clearly in her dreams. Most dreams she’s in space, deep into the darkness, unable to move towards safe haven. There's a planet just out reach. A dull noise beeps as her oxygen depletes and her breaths draw short. Shepard’s voice is there, keeping her safe, keeping her calm. While she never quite feels her touch, she feels the warmth of Shepard surrounding her even in the cold of space. She stops breathing as Shepard asks, asks her to stop struggling and relax. Whispers of sweet nothings, and I love yous are the last thing she hears before she wakes again.

When Ashley opens her eyes again, she sees EDI reading some presumably medical charts on a datapad.

“Good evening Commander.” 

“EDI?” 

“Yes Commander.”

“Can I have some water?” EDI complies, Ashley coughs. “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

“How long have I been out?”

“Roughly three days. The medigel healing your wound has made you very drowsy, so we elected to let you rest.”

Ashley nods. “Can you give me a rundown of everything that’s happened? While I was out, I mean.”

“I can give you a basic rundown, but in a few hours you will be needed as the head of the Normandy Crew in a public meeting, I will brief you after you take a shower and get dressed.”

“Can you tell me something first?”

“Of course.”

“Did we really win?”

“Yes, yes we did.” EDI says, without any hint of a smile. “I will come back to retrieve you in a few hours.”

And with that, EDI leaves the cabin, and Ashley is left alone to stare at the stars through the windows.

\-----

Ashley takes a warm shower, just a little over her regular five minutes to soak the blood and grime off of her skin, her hands, face and hair. It’s awkward using Shepard’s shower without her, without her there too. She quickly pins up her hair and borrows some uniform pants from Shepard’s drawer, hoping she wouldn’t mind. Shepard was probably somewhere on Earth being a dignitary somewhere. At least, that’s what Ashley was telling herself. 

She boards the elevator to the CIC and heads to the meeting room where Private Campbell and Westmoreland where usually stationed. EDI is there, hands folded over neatly at her hips. She leads Ashley into the meeting room, and motions for her to sit.

“I need to explain something important to you before we begin.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“You will be meeting with an ambassador from another race. Shepard is unable to attend at the moment.”

“What race in particular? I don’t have much diplomatic skills, Captain Anderson would be more suited for this I think.”

EDI doesn’t immediately speak, but answers: “Reaper.”

Ashley pales. “I thought you said we defeated the Reapers!”

“That is correct.”

“So you’re telling me we didn’t defeat the Reapers.”

“No.”

“Yet they’re still around and flying?”

“Correct Commander.”

Ashley steeples her fingers under her chin. “EDI, what you’re saying doesn’t make any sense.”

“I can assure you Commander, if you’ll let me explain.”

"Something tells me I won't like this explanation." She brushes her hand through her hair, before clasping them and setting her hands on the table. 

EDI sighs, a human habit she picked up mostly from Shepard and Joker, "I can assure you Commander, you will not." 

Ashley is uneasy. Through the doors, a being walks towards Ashley and EDI. It was almost a husk, blue shimmering skin with black, oily cords wrapped around it's various limbs. It's claws, normally held to attack are slack. The body shape is human. The being talks. It's voice reverberates through Ashley's mind. "Hello Commander. Hello EDI." It says. That face is familiar. It's been burned into her mind. 

Ashley pales. "Shepard." She feels her knees go weak even though she's sitting. The room is spinning and it's suddenly very cold. Her stomach is in knots. She struggles to speak. 

"It has been awhile." The husk Shepard is inhabiting sits at the table. "EDI."

EDI nods politely, but doesn’t get a word in before Ashley interjects and points at the husk, "What did you do to Shepard?" EDI has to rise and restrain the Lieutenant Commander, who has begun to thrash about towards the husk.

"Shepard integrated herself with us. Became us. She continued the legacy, but not the cycle." The husk says calmly. It doesn’t move.

"But why?!"

"We cannot speak for Shepard. Because we are not Shepard. Shepard is part of us." Ashley resists the tears. The woman she loves, no loved, is no longer among them. Her worst fears are coming true. Any thought of Shepard being treated on Earth, being hailed as a War Hero, is dashed as this husk continues to speak. "This however means, we can answer questions you may have. Shepard had many for us. We can answer any question about civilizations before your own, technology you have not yet attained. Lives the Reapers before had cut short. Anything you would like answered, we can give you."

"You can't bring back Shepard." EDI lets go of Ashley as she stands still, balling her fists at her sides.

The husk with Shepard's visage tilts its head, a tic the woman had before. "Shepard gave her life for everyone. To retain history-"

"I want no part of this." Ashley goes to leave, but the husk reaches across the table, looks into her eyes with its inky black irises, and grabs her wrist. 

"Her last thoughts were of you, Lieutenant Commander Ashley Madeline Williams. She wanted to know that she loved you. She gave everything, for you." Ashley sheds tears as the husk speaks in Shepard's voice. She yanks her arms out of the husks grasp, and storms off, wishing there was a door she could slam in anger. She hides her head as she goes to the elevator. The two non organic beings watch her leave.

"Regardless of Shepards intentions, that was a low blow." EDI says to the husk.

"We are afraid that we do not understand human emotions very well." It tilts its head again.

"It is more nuanced than you would likely expect."

"Humans are difficult creatures."

"But they are worth it." EDI says firmly.

"Please let us know when Lieutenant Commander Williams is ready to speak to us."

"I don't think that will be soon."

“Can we ask you a few questions about the Commander?”

“Which one, might I ask?”

“Both. We would like some insight on the Commanders relationship. As to why the Commander is not satisfied with this appearance.”

“I say this as a fellow non-organic being, using a dead woman's face to present yourself to her lover in a time of mourning, especially after our significant losses from the Reapers is rather…”EDI pauses. “Distasteful.”

“We will take this into consideration for our next meeting.”

“Thank you.”

The husk goes to leave, and EDI is left with a feeling she can only describe as bitterness and anger.

\-----------  
Ashley falls asleep with tears in her eyes and the false Shepard’s voice reverberating in her ears. The husk’s face is burned into the back of her eyelids. Once, in her dreams, Shepard was a beacon of hope. A beacon of safe haven. But now, in her dreams, her memories of Shepard scare her. She loses her train of thought and the once beautiful Shepard, her striking green eyes and bright red locks of hair are gone, replaced with the withered blue skin with black tubes. Her soft smiles replaced with the husks gnarled teeth and soulless black eyes. Ashley has nightmares about Thomas, her brother-in-law, walking around as a husk. She cries as the faces of her family, her friends, her love is deformed into a husk, walking with no purpose or sense of self. She is angry at Shepard, she is angry for her choice. Shepard never showed sympathy to the Reapers, what made her choose this fate? Their assured victory now at an eternal stalemate, their champion slain. The Reapers could be toying with them for all they know. Without Shepard she did have a direction, but there was almost no will to go on. And now, Ashley had to take up the fight or finish it.

Ashley dreams of Shepard as they float in space together. The husks voice is all she can remember. She wishes in her dreams that she’d run out of oxygen to escape what was once a sanctuary.

\------------

"EDI? Can I ask your opinion?" Ashley asks over some coffee in the War Room. The crew is mostly asleep, but Ashley and EDI are focusing their efforts on the now post-war. 

"Of course, Lieutenant Williams."

"Do you think that's really Shepard in there?"

"That will require a complicated answer." Ashley rests her chin on her hands. "Simply, yes. Shepard was absorbed into the Reapers. I am not aware of why, or whether it was under duress. But the Reaper husk that presented itself to you was genetically Shepard." 

"Genetically? What do you mean?" She puts her hands up before EDI speaks. “In simple terms please, I don’t want to know all of it.”

"The body that was presented was not Shepards. I don't desire to go into specifics, but Shepard as we know no longer has a complete corporeal form. I believe it was due to something similar to a particle beam. Or something similar to that I am sure. Shepards body is now part of the husk, but it is in a microbial level at best." Ashleys heart sinks. "I assure you," she rests her hand on Ashleys and grips it comfortingly, something she's picked up to be more empathetic; "It was not a painful way to pass. Shepard likely did not feel it."

"And there's the tears again." 

"It is ok to show grief Ashley, I won't judge you for it, neither will the crew."

"I can't. I can't believe Shepard chose those, those things! Over us! Over me?!"

"I cannot fathom a reason myself. But you must know Shepard had a plan, had a reason."

"EDI I don't know if I can trust those things."

"I don't blame you, the crew and I are behind you all the way. Please keep in mind, whatever Shepard chose, she trusted you to believe in her.”  
Ashley wipes the tears away. “Did I ever tell you how Shepard and I met?”

EDI knows the story from the reports. “No, you did not.” But she knows it’s a happier story to Ashley. “Will you tell me?”

Ashley leans back against the war table. “She dropped in to Eden Prime after my whole squad was wiped out. She came in like a guardian angel, short a bunch of Geth, like ‘pow pow pow!’” Ashley emotes out loud, imitating Shepard’s trademark assault rifle she used in that era of her life. “Kaidan was right behind her, but all I could think about was this angel coming in to save me, like it was out of some cheesy romance novel.”

“You sound very smitten.”

“I was. I really was. Didn’t admit it at the time, but when she saved me from the Prothean beam thing, she was out for a couple hours. When she woke up, she laid out the charm and swept me off my feet. Figuratively, I mean.”

“And you started your relationship shortly after?”

Ashley shakes her head. “No, I was terrified of something like that. I was a lower rank soldier, Shepard was a hero. I was out of my league.”

“What made you change your mind?”

“Virmire.”

EDI knows of Virmire. She didn’t know Kaidan Alenko, but she did fight against him during her stint as a Rogue AI on the Lunar Colony on Earth’s Moon. She remembers him as a strong biotic. She also remembers from the report that he gave his life on Virmire arming the very bomb that took out Saren’s research facility.

“Shepard came and got me, and Captain Kirrahe’s team.” She looks up wistfully. “Before we shuttled off, Kaidan said he didn’t regret a thing.” Tears edge her eyelids. The grief of losing Shepard has brought up grief over Kaidan that was still evidently fresh. “Kaidan made me promise him to live on. He knew I’d be broken up over it.”

“He sounds like he was a good friend to you.” Ashley nods.

“He was a dork. Bad on the Normandy SR-1, he was always fiddling with some console right outside Shepard’s cabin. The lights always gave him a headache, but he was always annoyed with the console. Rarely came down to the sub-deck too. Always thought he had the hots for Shepard.”

EDI raises an eyebrow ever so slightly. “Did he?”

Ashley laughs. “I dunno, I never asked him. Everytime we talked he’d tell me about how he missed home. We always had the same meal time because we were on the same team often, we were a good team. Two biotic powerhouses and one hell of a soldier? We were pretty good, if I do say so myself.” She laughs, but there’s still tear tracks on her cheeks. The memories are still painful. “And now they’re both gone.”

"Neither of those circumstances where in your control." 

"I know, but it's still like," she pauses. "Why me? I got to live. I was just a Gunnery Sergeant under a disgraced name. Everyday I wake up and I pray that I'm living to the fullest, that my squads, Kaidan and now Shepards life won't be in vain."

"You know Shepard was proud of you. And Kaidan believed in you, I bet he was proud of you too. I am proud of you as well."

Ashley sniffs her nose and wipes her eyes. "Yanno, you're a really great EDI, you always know what to say." EDI smiles and shrugs. "All right, I'm gonna get some coffee and review the supply documents. They say the Relay is gonna be fixed soon."

"There is still the matter of-"

"I know, I'll put on a brave face."

"I asked the emissary to not use Shepard's visage in the future to make meetings smoother."

"Thanks EDI."

\---------

Shepard's funeral hits the crew hard when they get home. No body, no grand celebration in honor of their hero who saved the universe. They missed what little ceremony their was. The reception bringing the Normandy back was quiet. Despite the healing injuries, everyone was ragged, tired, almost trudging off of the vessel. Ashley held her head high as she debriefed her superiors, and was given her medals in another small ceremony. A lot of Earth and its forces where gone. A lot of what everyone relied on for the past century was destroyed. 

Sarah and the Williams clan all greeted her with open arms in London. Her mother grasps her head in her hands after a long hug, she says: "I am so proud of you." And Ashley sheds tears again. She was glad to be home, even if her heart still didn't feel full without Shepard. It takes weeks before she has time to herself again. Many meetings and ceremonies, funerals, and resolving of post-war deals leave Ashley exhausted. She’s actively going to grief counseling again, and it leaves her exhausted. Ashley is resting, watching some old TV in her apartment, enjoying the day off. Her omni-tool buzzes as she receives a message about two months after they hit home. It simply reads, “We would like to see you, is this acceptable?”

Ashley’s heart falls. She replies, ‘Yes.’ Without much thought. The Reaper being that houses Shepards soul and DNA would like to see her. She’s their emissary after all, even if it’s unwilling. They meet in her apartment. She pulls on some slacks and her uniform, thought she doesn’t bother with her hair and makeup. Not for a husk. 

The being enters without knocking, closes the door and sits on the sofa opposite Ashley. It still wears Shepard’s visage. At the very least it’s put clothes on this time. But it’s Shepard’s uniform. 

“It’s rude to enter someone’s home without knocking you know.”

“You were aware we were to arrive.”

“Make sure to let me know when you arrive, it’s an organic thing.”

“That will be noted, thank you Lieutenant Commander Williams.”

Ashley sits up straight. “What did you need?”

The husk looks down for a moment, before locking eyes with Ashley. “We would like information about Lieutenant Commander Shepard.”

“Like what?”

“What was she like?”

“Stubborn, bull-headed-”

“We are aware this appearance is off-putting, but ever since we created this body, no even before, we have felt the urge to speak to you. We created this body so we could achieve this purpose.”

“I don’t understand.”

“We do not fully comprehend this either. When Shepard merged with us, we became more human. We would like to be in your good graces.”

Ashley thinks for a moment. The being doesn’t breathe, doesn’t move. It looks around the room. “On one condition.”

“Please, name it.”

“How did Shepard die?”

“Your AI friend was correct. It was a form of particle beam. Shepard did not feel anything as she left the mortal world. She became us, and we would like to help you.”

“Help me?”

“In return for our knowledge, we would like to know you.”

“You’re saying, you want my companionship in exchange for knowledge of the civilizations you’ve eradicated?”

“That is correct.”

“I have no choice but to say yes to that.”

“We hope you are looking forward to this as much as we are.”

Hours later, Ashley is regaled with tales of the beginning, the rebellion of the AI against the Leviathen, the races whose lives were swallowed. About ninety percent of the races have names she can’t pronounce, let alone remember. Yet, the Reaper being tells her everything in exchange for companionship. The Reaper asks to sit next to her. It’s uncomfortable all around.

“Will you tell us about your relationship with Shepard?”

“Like what?”

“When did it begin?”

“I was planning to take her out the moment I saw her, she was my guardian angel. She saved me from the geth firing at me. I wanted to kiss her. But I thought she was into Kaidan, and then the mission got in the way.”

“She died as a result of the Collector attack, correct?”

“Yes. She suffocated.”

“We feel, that Shepard was comfortable around you, even in space.”

“I...I hope she was.”

“Please, continue.”

“We fought on Horizon. We fought on Mars, but it was her! I couldn’t believe it. My guardian angel was back. They told us they couldn’t recover the body. But she just strolls in and saves my ass again. I couldn’t believe it. And even though we fought, she still agreed to go out with me.”

“Why would she not?”

“I told her I couldn’t come with her on her mission. I left her alone.”

“Do you think Shepard felt anger towards you?”

Ashley bites her lip. “No. She was stubborn, but she was bright, she was strong. Gorgeous, thoughtful and smart.”

“You sound very much in love.”

“I was. I really was. I really am.” The husk, with it’s blue skin, sharp fangs and black oily hair and eyes, looks almost sad. “I still have nightmares. But I also have dreams. Dreams of if Shepard was here. Dreams of where I can hold her tight, tell her I love her.”

“If we created a flesh body we could do this, for you. For Shepard.”

Ashley’s eyes widen. “I think we should stop here. I’m uncomfortable with this, it’s been a couple hours. I think you should go.”

“Our apologies for making you uncomfortable, Lieutenant Commander Williams. It was not our intention. We are having trouble processing these feelings. As an AI we do not feel. We think it is an after effect of Shepard’s DNA or thoughts. We would like to understand your emotions, understand why we as an AI, would change so drastically after the integration of one woman.”

“Shepard united everyone against you. To defeat you, to regain our homes and lives. Even I can’t understand why she’d go ally up with you.”

“What will it take for you to trust us?”

“I won’t.”

“Very well.” The husk rises, and leaves. And Ashley is left alone once again.

\---------

EDI swings by a couple weeks later. She brings Ashley some Noodles from a place that’s up and running nearby. They chat, and EDI brings up the topic of the husk again. “The Reaper emissary asked for you again.”

Ashley scoffs. “EDI, I don’t know how to talk to it. Them. Whatever.”

“They want to be friends.”

“EDI.”

“They are asking me to ask you to talk to them.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“I am not in fact, shitting you.”

“They’re being all weird and creepy.”

“How so?”

“I told them about Shepard, my nightmares, and they told me about the previous Citadel races, before us I mean. But instead of just being all right with that, they kept getting closer to me. Like-”

“How Shepard did?”

“Yeah.” Ashley frowns and pouts. Her food, despite being spicy, becomes tasteless.

“I do not know what it wants per se, but I think it wants to be friends with you. Or perhaps start a relationship with you.”

“What if I don’t want that?”

EDI shrugs. “Shepard was stubborn. And now Shepard’s stubbornness is part of a Reaper.”

“Maybe if it brings Shepard back. We can talk.”

EDI has an idea, but she knows Ashley isn’t going to like it. “I will see what I can manage. For now, please continue as per usual.”

Ashley makes a face. “Oh-kay, uh, I’ll see you around?”

EDI nods. “Of course. Please make sure to continue with counseling. The crew would like to see you outside and not at a ceremony soon.”

“Tell them I’ll be ready soon enough.”

\--------------------------------

EDI leaves and immediately begins contact with Miranda and the husk. It’s an expensive plan, but EDI genuinely wants to see Ashley happy, and if it takes defying the laws of AI, than laws where going to be broken.

“What you’re saying,” Miranda starts. The Reaper emissary and EDI are both sitting on her couch in her apartment. “Is that you are not the Reaper AI that Shepard encountered.”

“No, from what we have deduced, we are our own person. We have feelings, similar to EDI. We would like to see Ashley, and she is currently bothered by our appearance. We would like you to build an AI body similar to EDI so we may present ourselves to Ashley.”

Miranda runs her hand through her hair. “Only Shepard’s tenacity and love makes an AI break its programming.”

“Will you do it for us?”

“Yes, yes I’ll take care of it. Give me a week, I can have a basic body for you, and we can change it from there.”

“This is wonderful, we feel very happy.”

“I’m sure you do, now out, come back in a week!” Miranda shuts the door behind the two AI roughly, and they walk off.

\---------------------------------

Thusly, a week later to the hour, the husk and EDI are back, Miranda has a large machine hooked up to a body under a sheet, she hooks a multitude of wires into the husk, and flips a switch. The Reaper husk makes a noise one could only describe as grotesque, and it falls to the ground. The body under the sheet, with silvery, shimmery skin and grey hair similar to EDI, sits up. The modules and simulations programmed inside make the husk take a big breath as humans do. The hand, once with large claws, now had delicate hands with perfectly manicured nails. It runs its hand through its short hair, a habit Shepard was incredibly prone to. The now freshly bodied AI stands up, leaving the sheet on the table. “This feels very uncomfortable, but not unpleasant.” 

“There, is this body acceptable?” Miranda asks.  
“We have to go see Ashley!” The Reaper AI says with its new voice. 

“Wait please, I have some clothing for you,” EDI says, giving the AI a set of casualwear. It begins to put it on.

“I have that handled, you do know you have to go under a name from now on.” Miranda says.

“We...have not decided on one yet. We will think about it. Perhaps we will find something Ashley likes.”

“Didn’t you use to call her by her full title?”

“We feel that calling her by her name would make her more comfortable.”

The door opens, Ashley walks in, utterly confused at the scene in front of her. “Can someone tell me why you’re naked, the husk is on the floor, who the hell are you?”

The new AI takes Ashley’s hand in its own. “We have no name, but we would like to get to know you more!”

“Who the-”

“Ashley, this is the AI.”

“We decided a new body would be easier to be around than a husk. Miranda Lawson does very good work we think!”

“She sure does…” Ashley says, a bit uncomfortably.

“We’ll leave you two alone for a bit. C’mon EDI.” Miranda and EDI leave the room. The AI and Ashley are left in the room. 

“So uh, nice new body.”

“Does it make you happy?”

“It really doesn’t matter what I think, it’s what you think.”

“Well yes, but it is more pleasing than our previous body?”

“Much.”

“Then would you please do us a favor? Would you please start over with us? Shepard is a part of us, but we only retained the trace memories of her. We feel that’s why there was a disconnect on our part. We are only a small part of her. We cannot replace her, but because she is an integral part of us, we would like to be a part of your life. Even if it’s just as a friend, a confidante. Anything you need.”

“I-I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you very much!”

“I-” Ashley stops talking for a moment. “I want you to tell us about the races before us. Shepard chose to let the Reapers live. I’ll never understand it, but if you can keep up your end of the bargain, I’ll do my best to keep up my end.”

The AI takes Ashley’s hands in its own. Ashleys hands are soft, as it turns out. “This is going to be the beginning of a great friendship I think.”


End file.
